I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
