This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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