Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
