nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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