So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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