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• (513): View more from Ohio

  so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (631): View more from New York

  She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.

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• (805): View more from California

  You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.

  (1-805): View more from California

  watch me

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  God bless Atlanta.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  That's my new pick up line call me a polish name

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you

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• (352): View more from Florida

  He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.

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