hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
