If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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