i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
