i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I've blown a few things in my day
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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