I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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