u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
