I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We have so much sex to catch up on
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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