Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Hippo gnu deer
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
