Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
