I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
