I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
