i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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