i just google imaged poop.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
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I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
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I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize