so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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