I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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