Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
