so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
