No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
