And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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