this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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