your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Holy sore nipples Batman
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
