By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
