you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
