We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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