im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
