Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
