I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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