new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
