too bad you live with your parents still
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
wow bdsm is so cute
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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