having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize