The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
