You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
