My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
soo... how was my night?
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