This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
