after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
