Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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