yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
