Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
3pm strippers are depressing
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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