i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Im at strip club and am horny
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
