I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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