I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
