so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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