Me. At least after what I've been through.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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