dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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