But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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