Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize