She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
