It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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