how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
