My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
