he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
