he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
