he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
