so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
