No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
This is the prime rib incident all over again
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
This is my gift to your gina
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
