i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
