I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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