it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
FUCK WHALES
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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