Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
