so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
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I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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