do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
