I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
